The final days

I'm sat in my room at Joy's in Maya as I write the first part of this blog. It's Thursday evening and tomorrow I leave this beautiful village and head back to Kampala. Today I finished the mural and the two posters I had left to do, cleaned the house and sorted things so packing will be easier when I can be bothered to do it. Tonight, we're having a 'final conversation' as Joy calls it or 'the last supper'. It will be lovely as we actually never eat dinner all together. On the menu is chapati and pineapple - perfect! My leaving hasn't really sunk in yet, but now that my room is empty, I have nothing to do and I'm just waiting for our final gathering, it's starting to settle. 

I had a moment on Saturday when I told one of the girls I walk home with from the clinic I only had one day left there, and she looked so sad. She's called Lillian and I am her best friend! She's beautiful, as you can see, and I will really miss her. But when my final day at the clinic came, its wasn't as epic as I had built it up to be in my mind. The kids were actually crazy so I spent a lot of energy trying to control them, stop them running havoc in the clinic and stop them attacking me. One boy, who until a week ago was too scared to come near me, made my nose bleed! I explained it was my last day, but the three little ones I've come to adore are too young to really get it. The older group who I walk home from school understood more, but it was such a beautiful day I couldn't feel too sad, I just felt blessed to have such great little friends! 

Now, as all I have to do is pack here, I'm getting sentimental. I feel so deeply blessed that I have been able to call Maya, especially this family, home for the last ten weeks or so. I have been blessed to witness the clinic slowly blossom (we have treated over 115 patients!) and to be a tiny part of a dream becoming reality. These ten weeks have really impacted me in ways I can't quite express yet as I'm still processing them. I pray I will be back one day! But now I need to steel myself for tonight, for awkward forced questions, great Ugandan food, beautiful family and for holding back the tears which I can feel building. 

It's now Sunday night and I've given up trying to pack so am finishing this instead. Thursday night was a lovely close to Maya and there were no tears! Apart from that moment in my room, it hasn't hit me that I'm actually leaving all of this so I'm not getting too emotional. Joy took me out for lunch to the poshest hotel in Uganda (the Queen stayed there when she came on her royal visit here). It was lovely but I felt so out of place coming from Maya to that! I had delicious Indian, so went all the way back to the start of my trip. When I was much too full, Joy brought me back to John's and that was my ten weeks with her finished.

There was a team here from Brimsham Green (half an hour from my home!) for most of this weekend; they left this afternoon. But that was really nice, being able to chat to people my age as we shared our experiences and processed going home together a bit. I tied in my final visit to the Acholi Quarters with their going to see the community and buy beads which worked well so I did my final bit of shopping there too. I stayed on to say my goodbyes to all the ladies there. Once again, I was so amazed by them! They are so so generous, selfless and joyful despite their circumstances. I am blessed to have been able to spend this time with them! Aren't they so lush?

And so this is it. I have just had my final dinner in Uganda - matoke (green banana) with groundnut sauce followed by pineapple and yoghurt for pudding, perfect! All I have left to do is shower, work out how to complete the puzzle of packing my rucksack and try and actually sleep. Tomorrow, I'm going out for breakfast with the John, Sophie and Patience before going to the airport around noon. I'm flying to Nairobi mid afternoon and then after seven hours of nothing in the airport I will fly back home overnight. This doesn't seem real! I'm really torn right now, the fact that this is my final night is making me really sad - I love Uganda, I love John and Sophie and Patience, I love that I feel so at home in the incredible country. And yet I know it's time to come home, I know this time was always coming and I am really looking forward to being back with my family again, and seeing everyone that I haven't seen for months! I think right now, at this exact moment, the wish to stay a little longer here and sadness that I have to leave are the strongest feelings in me. Please don't take this personally anyone, it's just where I'm currently at. But I'm sure that once the final goodbyes are said, and I'm sitting on that plane to England, I will be ready to come home. And in all of this, I have that deep peace of God which is making the whole thing of leaving so much easier.

Right then, the next word from me will be from Rose Cottage. This is the end of my gap year, and what a journey it's been! Love you all.