Reality check!

As I am about to embark on 10 days or so of 'holiday' here in Uganda as Mum, Dad and Rozzie arrive tomorrow, I have a few reflections on the last four weeks I have spent in the Acholi Quarters that I would like to share with you. I skyped my dear friend Ruth this evening, and having filled her in on all that's been happening, it's stirred up things within me and joined some dots which have all resulted in my eyes being opened.

This week has again been a mix of enjoyable and less enjoyable with the uncertainty of my kids (in Acholi language, they really are 'my' kids, as when you are a teacher this is how your students are referred to - so I have over 70 kids!) resulting in a different teaching experience each day. 

On Tuesday, despite having to be outside, God worked a miracle and at one point they were all sat down and busy relishing in their own books and colouring sheets for long enough that I could document the moment! It was the highlight of my week so far perhaps, and it show the delight education can bring!

There have been other less pleasant sights I have been faced with which have given glimpses into the environment which is home for my children. We have been focussing on sounds for the last weeks and today we practised them by one of the kids coming to the board and writing the letter which corresponds to the sound I said. Two of the few who were confident enough to come up had a young baby (both under one year I would guess) on their hip, and that is the case with many of the older ones - they are the carers of their baby siblings and have to shoulder that huge responsibility daily. They do a wonderful job, but it compromises both of their lives in that the older cannot fully concentrate on learning or just being a child, whilst the younger is often left crying and doesn't have the full amount of love they that should be right of being a baby. 

I often find myself having to step in and stop fights between the kids which are a series of retaliative hits which always ends in both parties crying and screaming. Today I saw one of the older girls, maybe about 10, with her fists up and her extremely intimidating death stare on against a boy half her age! Thankfully I saw and intervened before anything happened, but it shook me up looking back. Violence is just a way of life in this community and its something which they can't comprehend not using. When making the kids be quiet, the older girls use sticks and hit the younger ones - quite forcefully too, but when I tell them not to do this, they look at me as if I'm an alien. They don't know anything else except for beating as a response to everything. Even the most lovely families I've met openly tell their children that 'I will beat you' if you don't stop. I am completely opposed to discipline by beating, but this runs deep in all the Acholi people it seems, and culture will have to change for this sad reality to change.

When I was waiting for my boda boda after class today to bring me home, I sat outside the hall with a couple of children and watched this happening.

This girl is perhaps five years old, and here she is carrying two full jerry cans of water (maybe 4 litres per can?) in the scorching sun! And her sister followed with an even larger one. As soon as they leave the hall, responsibilities have to be fulfilled. Often, many of my kids come in and out of the class which is very hard to keep focus through. This often frustrates me when they come in late, or come right at the end and so on, however I realised today why this happens - education is not as valuable to many of these families as their child being useful, and so they have to do chores and help at home, or even break rocks at the quarry above coming to the poorly executed lessons I am giving. They can't afford to put education first. And yet, they can't afford not to! It's a cruel and complex paradox. 

I realise this is quite depressing really, but its their daily reality which I am slowly starting to understand. After my holiday I am changing the system and giving more structure to the mornings we spend together by splitting them into small and more equally able groups. I haven't been blessed with a lady to help me, so this is how I will manage the second half of my time there. And yet I can't help but question whether this will work. Their lives have no structure to them in the way I want to implement it - they don't go around with watches conscious of the time and day and date - so how will is work out? I can only wait and see and pray it will, because it will be so much re advantageous for them if it does!

However there is hope! Today I saw three of my kids have the confidence to come to the board and write a letter which they got right! They would never have done this four weeks ago. We made friendship bracelets today (you can see the girl carrying the water wearing hers) and they loved doing something a touch more creative. Many helped each other by holding whilst the other braided or by tying the bracelet for someone. It was lovely to watch. They each have their books at home for this week, which I haven't let them do before, so they are having to be responsible for them and find time to do the homework tasks I have set them. The reality is life is tough there,but God is present and His love and gentleness is at work, I pray, in all their lives.

Mountains on day, valleys the next

I concluded last weeks blog by saying that this week we would hopefully make progress on how to make the time I spend in the Acholi quarters more sustainable for me, which would hopefully involve a classroom assistant stepping up. Well. This week has seen no such progress sadly, but has been even crazier than the week before! John did come and talk to the ladies and as of tomorrow I may (but I'm not getting my hopes up) have a lady who will help me with class control. We will see...

I didn't have use of our normal hall space this week due to various factors so I was stretched even further by having to do the class outside. As a result the usually energetic kids were quite wild as the heat, extra distractions and bigger space proved much more interesting than my compromised teaching. I was turning up each day thinking we'd have the hall back because nobody informs me when its not available. I muddled through, and Tuesday was a really lovely day actually!

As you can see, I managed to stick up the letters do we could keep working on phonics. The number of kids was much diminished so the few who were there were amazingly focused and engaged and the sounds just clicked with them. We had taken a different tact and made up an action for each sound which they copied and acted as a prompt for them (once I'd looked quite ridiculous acting them out several times... with many random adults watching the crazy muzungu too). Miraculously when I pulled out their books, they all did their bookwork or colouring quite orderly actually without making all the white pages red with the dust. That was the mountain of the week. 

These are some of my kids - despite all the challenges of being in that sort of community, they are a delight and I feel so accepted and loved my them!

I know I shouldn't have favourites, but this little boy is by my side all the time and gives the best cuddles.

The girl with beads in her hair is one of the little ones who run to me every morning when I come in on my boda boda shouting 'muzungu' and throwing herself at me. She brightens any situation.

And they LOVE 'looking after' my helmet.

They are all beautiful kids and deserve so much more than the life they have. Yet the are so full of joy despite their circumstances. I had a couple of interesting conversations with John and mum about how I am benefitting them because some days (like my valley - Wednesday) I don't feel like I am having any influence in their lives. No matter how my teaching goes, they are experiencing things they wouldn't otherwise experience. Practical things like positive behaviour being praised and encouraged and being able to hold a pencil and write in their own books but more importantly for me, I am (not perfectly, but I try) showing them God's love. I find striking a balance between giving love and attention to them and being strict very hard at times! Just holding a hand, having a smile and a hug isn't something they will necessarily get at home, but thanks to God putting me here, I can give them. 

Wednesday was a very hard day where they were not focused, they didn't listen and were all over the place. I was almost in tears after an hour, and so decided to take Thursday off using mum coming in as an excuse. Maybe I shouldn't have done it - stability is something their lives lack which could be a cause of their poor behaviour and so is something I should be exemplifying and encouraging, but I couldn't do it. Since then I have really been trying to press into God's presence and draw closer to Him, but I have been finding it hard. Until this morning, when Luke 10: 41-42 spoke to me in exactly all I am feeling and struggling with. 

"Martha, Martha you are worried and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed. Mary had chosen the best part; it will not be taken away from her."

In the story of Mary and Martha where Mary sits at Jesus' feet but Martha is busy serving, I always identify with Martha because I am always doing or worrying and have never understood Jesus' response to her. Only today did Abba reveal the true meaning of Jesus' words to me. It doesn't matter what we have done, are doing and need to do - the only things which is needed is God's presence. That is the best part and the things of that time will not be taken away, where as works come and go. I'm afraid I haven't expressed this revelation as clearly as it is in my heart, but I challenge you in whatever you are doing to stop and seek God's presence because this is what lasts and counts. And of course, by spending time with Him, we will be renewed, equipped and made ready for whatever work we then go on to do.

Thursday night was another mountain - I was reunited with my mum after six months and three days of not seeing her.

It was SUCH a wonderful fourteen hours together... I don't think I stopped smiling. We both remarked how it didn't feel like we'd been apart for so long at all! I guess thanks to the Internet we have stayed pretty in touch and so the separation wasn't as hard as it could have been. We talked and talked, and didn't cover a fraction of all we could talk about! It was a lovely blessing to see her and be encouraged and spurred on by all we discussed. One of her suitcases was full of things for me, which was a great joy to explore (the ants enjoyed it too thanks to an exploded custard powder sachet over much of the contents). Thank you to all of you who contributed - you are all amazing and I pray God will bless you as you have blessed me. 

I know have lots of resources to help me in all I do over at the Acholi quarters, including a tonne of colouring pages so I won't be having to draw 30 pictures each night anymore! My sweet tooth is in heaven as well, thanks to the substantial amount of foodie bits mum put in there too - including homemade brownies from one of the finalists of The Great Cambridge Bake Off 2014!! One of the most treasured items which will save my hands from numerous blisters is this...

... A mechanical pencil sharpener! My excitement is evident!

It's been an emotional week, full of ups and downs, but I praise God that in all I have faced so far, I can echo Paul's words about being content in every situation. God's Peace really does surpass all understanding, and sense! This week I will be at the Acholi quarters for three 'normal' days and am probably venturing on a day trip to another town somewhere outside Kampala where John is taking another UK guest who is staying with us, so that will provide a nice break. Tuesday will also mark my having been in Uganda for one month! How time flies! And on Friday there will be an overflowing of joy in Entebbe when the four Harrison's will be reunited for a glorious week :) bring it on!

I hope you are all well and that God will bless you in whatever you are doing. Thank you for your continued support! You are wonderful.

From rest to chaos

As always, I will start by saying I am SO sorry I have not blogged sooner since I came to Uganda. My first week here was blissfully uneventful and gave me the time with God, rest and space I needed to come to terms with being in another new country but one which will be home for the next five months. I lay in, ate way too much wonderful food which my new mum, Sophie, cooked, spent some beautiful times with my Heavenly Father, sweated buckets and watched a load of tv! I am living with a family who mum knows really well, and I stayed with when I was here in October 2012. They are lovely! John and Sophie have a beautiful daughter, Patience, who is almost 18 months and is a bundle of joy and energy (except when daddy walks out the room and the crying comes in force). It is thanks to John and his work that I can meet the people I have been and will be meeting - he started an organisation called Link International with a friend in the UK and they are working with some really inspiring projects out here.

It has been pretty odd adjusting from having shared a bed most of the time in India, and always sharing a room ever since I left home, to having this room all to myself.

I feel very lucky to have such a large space which I can call my own for the next few months, but I have also found it hard to manage my time in my room and the time outside with the family - a balance I have never even considered before. For my time in Asia, even when I was in my room I was being sociable because there were always people there too, but here, when I close the door, it is just me. Thankfully, John and Sophie are used to westerners and our ways of life, which has made me less self conscious at all the time I spend in here, but its still something which plays on my mind most times when I shut the door behind me. 

That first week was beautiful because I really connected with God and found His presence which I have needed ever since! He gave me verses to hold onto for my whole time here and in all that I will be doing. John 5:30 is one of the very first verses that stood out to me in my first day here - 'For I seek not to please myself but Him who sent me.' If you get time, read Isaiah 49 too, it's a beautiful chapter full of hope and Jesus and Abba blessed me a lot through that chapter.

For the last two weeks I have been spending most of my time in a slum-like area where a group of people form the north of Uganda have settled after fleeing their homes due to war. They are called the Acholi people. When I was here for a week a year and a half ago I remember spending a couple of afternoons there seeing what life was like and playing with the kids, so I was looking forward to going back and getting to know some of them over a longer period. Nothing could of prepared me for what I faced on a Wednesday morning - well, that's a bit too dramatic I guess, that Wednesday was good, it was the last week after my 'muzungu' (white person) scariness has worn off which I was unprepared for!

The last 12 days has seen me making the 20 minute boda boda ride to the Acholi quarters and back, a ride which I am extremely familiar with now! Boda boda's are like the local taxis, except they're motorbikes - you jump on the back and away you go! I have my own trusted driver and my own helmet, so I am much safer than if you get on the back of a random one. Mondays to Fridays I have a group of about 40 kids for three hours, to keep preoccupied and not completely wild (easier said than done). I actually have over 80 kids registered, but apart from a dedicated 20 or 30, they are pretty inconsistent in their coming which is rooted in the slum lifestyle. Many of these kids have never been to school before, or have had to drop out because they can't afford the fees and they need to work to bring a few shillings into their family. Growing up in a slum also means you have to be tough to survive, so the kids I see are very much in need of constant love and a calm environment instead of the fighting, crying and beating which is common among them. A couple of the older ones have become like class control for me, but they do it by hitting with sticks, something I am trying very hard to stop because it is so wrong - it is so engrained in their way of keeping kids quiet and in their of teacher that when I tell them not to, they just look confused. 

Three hours with that rabble is more than enough! It is super hard to fill three hours of teaching when you have so many students of all abilities - I have ones who can barely walk or talk up to ones who have almost reached the end of their primary education. Overwhelming sums up those hours pretty well I think. When I am not in the community hall teaching those kids, I am in the community with some of the women. One in particular, Catherine, has adopted me and so I sit in the house every afternoon. She gives me a Mirinda when I get in from class (I am pretty smug because I know the way through the maze of paths from the hall to her house now and can do the walk on my own if needed) and then, three hours later serves me lunch. It is truly humbling that she does all this for me, considering six people live in her house - her husband, youngest brother, two children and someone else I haven't met - and she only makes a living through rolling paper beads and her husbands occasional building work. Yet every day without fail she feeds me until I am begging her not to give me anymore, which of course she does. Her generous hospitality can be a little trying at times though - I have eaten meat because of her insistence and hurt by my refusing, and when I told her I wouldn't be coming at weekends anymore because I really needed to look after myself and properly rest, well I thought I had physically hurt her! Nevertheless, she is such a blessing to me, and always brings me joy. 

Twice a week, about eight of the women all congregate with me in Catherine's small home and I work with them on their English. It is much quieter and calmer than my morning class for sure. They are all at different levels too - a couple of the ladies can't even say the alphabet - but because the group is smaller I know their levels much better and so look forward to meeting with them and seeing their beautiful smiles when they grasp something new. The community feel between them is very strong - a key part of not just surviving but living in this place. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my mornings with the kids too, but I have to admit some mornings I have woken up and just wanted to stay in bed all day! But you have that whatever you do, I guess. It's what you do when you get up despite that feeling that matters.

Outside of the Acholi quarters (and on at least two afternoons every week, inside too) I spend the majority of my time marking books and writing more work for my kids. The challenge of a wide range of abilities in one room means I have to come up with a few different tasks for them when we do bookwork, and I have to hand write every single one! Many days I have come home at 4pm and after a quick shower and with a break for dinner I am marking and setting work till 10pm when I collapse into bed. I'm not saying for you to pity me or be impressed, this is simply my reality at the moment. I have written so many letters for kids to trace my hand hurts, and the baby class have a new picture to colour every day - these are some of my favourites!

God has blessed me with much needed rest as I have had the last three days off to just be at home and slow down. Today I didn't even touch a workbook! This week will hopefully see things settle into a more manageable system for me as John is going to help me work out a new way of handling all the kids. We will see how it goes, and I will let you know as and when things change. The highlight of this week will undoubtedly by Thursday night and Friday morning though when I will be with mum!!!!! This is actually happening! She is just flying through Uganda before journeying onto Zambia (I think, I can't keep track of all her travelling!) but I get to spend  her layover with her. It's been over six months since I last saw her, and whilst Skype is wonderful, it just isn't half as good as the real thing. Then, this time in two weeks, all four Harrisons will be reunited for one glorious week! I have so much to look forward to and I feel so blessed! 

I'm sorry the photos are few and pretty boring but the Acholi quarters are so intense that I couldn't face it with a camera! Tomorrow I will try and get a few shots of where I am spending my time and of the wonderful people I have the privilege of getting to know there. But for know, I will leave you with a glimpse of Uganda - the view from by bedroom window. It is a beautiful country. We've had rain this week so it's been mercifully cooler; the first two weeks I was sweating even when I wasn't moving it was SO hot, but this week I have almost needed a jumper in the mornings! The rains also mean less dust, which is lovely, but we will see if this is truly the start of the rainy season, or whether it is just a teaser. Much love to you all! Thank you for your continued love and prayers - you all mean the world to me!